Family Reunion
by Phoenix Reece
Summary: When Chunky's parents come to visit, can the Chunkster get his life in order to meet his father's high expectations? Sequel to "Love Stinks". Chapter seven, The Final Chapter, is out!
1. Scarlet's Song

**Author's Note**

I just think Chunky needs a little back story, y'know, like I owe it to him. I made him and gave him a life of his own and I think some people would like to know a little more about the cubby koala who fell in love with a skunk. This is a sequel to "Love Stinks", so you may want to read that if you haven't already. I'd also like to say that Chunky, his mother Scarlet, and his father Grizzly are _loosely_ based off of me, my mother, and my step father. LOOSELY! That means my parents are not constantly absent from my life and I love them very much, as they love me. Including my step father, whom I consider to be my true father because he raised me.

**Family Reunion**

Beep, beep, beep, beep

"Ughh," Chunky groaned, having forgotten to shut off his alarm, considering spring break had just begun. His fist slammed on the sleep button, and the clock silenced. It was one week after the events at Lumpy's restaurant and he was still constantly thinking about his "time" with Petunia

"God, is that what heaven is like? I've never felt so alive, and I did it all with Petunia. She was perfect; everything about that night was perfect, even when we were making love she smelled, delicious. It was normally a terrible smell, but it smelt so primal when we were together. I couldn't keep away from her scent. Is that some weird fetish? Well, I guess it means I'm getting less weird, because it at least doesn't involve tentacles."

Petunia and Chunky had "tied the knot" that night, much to everyone's surprise the next day. She seemed experienced, but was acting on primal instinct, and Chunky had taken her virginity, as she held his in her tiny paws. She wasn't sure about that evening, but had prepared herself just in case there was a spark, and there was. Petunia had reassured her boy after they were thoroughly exhausted that "she was on the pill", which Chunky didn't completely understand at the time. A Google search the next morning explained what she had meant in full.

"God, I want her so bad. I want to take her again. Is that wrong, to be so concerned about such things? But lord, her smell, I want to smell her primal lust again. I want to make her sweat, to hear her squeal at the moment of release, to…. Whoah." He realized he was getting excited, and decided to get some breakfast, and maybe a cold shower. Pulling himself out of bed, he slowly stumbled around his room, almost forgetting to put on his glasses. Once he could see, he walked downstairs clad in only a T-shirt and boxers into the kitchen, noticing uncle Disco was talking on the phone while cooking bacon.

"Uh huh, I know. Yeah. Hey! That's not funny! I've gotten laid before, and just because Chunky did it while I was in the middle of a slump doesn't mean nothing!" He turned to Chunky quickly, covering the phone with his hand "It's your daddy, he's cracking jokes again." Chunky smiled and made himself a bowl of cereal while Disco continued chatting.

"Uh huh, yeah. She's pretty nice, but you'll meet her eventually. What, really? This week, during spring break? Friday, oh, that's about, let's see. It's Thursday, the kids got out early, you'll be here next Friday, so eight days, it'll be great to see you again!" Disco shut off the phone and turned to Chunky, "Hey Chunkster, your pop's coming to visit next Friday!"

Chunky, drinking out of the milk carton, nodded and didn't really pay attention to what he was saying, but when it dawned on him, his pupils widened and he spat out the milk all over the kitchen floor.

"WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY!?!!?!?!!" He ran up to his uncle and shook him wildly. Disco merely looked at him angrily,

"I said if you don't clean that up by the time I count to ten I'm gonna shove my elevator boots up your narrow ass. And your father is visiting next Friday." Chunky, realizing what he had just done, quickly grabbed a rag, scrubbing the floor nervously and when he was finished leaped up and asked him a flurry of questions.

"What did he say, did you tell him about Petunia, what about my job, my weight?"

"What? I didn't mention your job or your weight, and all I said about Petunia was she was cute, and you banged her."

"Did you mention she was a skunk?"

"What, I think that's a little racist, nephew. And no, I didn't"

"Good, now I'm going to take a shower and ride over to Nutty's house. Don't wait up, I'll take my bike!" He said, sprinting up the stairs.

"Alright crazy, and keep your spit outta my milk!" Disco yelled after him before sitting down to eat his breakfast. A quick shower later and Chunky was sprinting out of the door, before his uncle had a chance to stop him.

"Hey, your mother is coming too, the next day though. Man, she is one foxy momma." Disco said, beginning to drift off.

"She's a squirrel, uncle." Chunky squinted in pity at him.

"You know what I meant! Didn't you say you had somewhere to be?" And Chunky realized the unrgency of the situation and ran out, unhooking his bike from the garage door and pedaling madly down the street towards Nutty's abode. But, he tired himself out, and was soon moving at a lazy pace, despite his best efforts. Chunky was actually calmly down a little, the fresh spring breeze cooling him, and he began to drift into happier thoughts, like his mother. She used to be at home a lot when he was young, but she took a job at a country club, waitressing for fun. She had a knack for it, and soon she was there more often and was promoted, and her promotions kept piling up until she owned one of the world's most prestigious country clubs. This meant she was almost always away though, and Chunky never saw her. He began to remember one of his fondest memories when she was still at home.

_Flashback_

"Is it done yet? I'm hungry!" A young Chunky, only about five pleaded to his mother while she leaned against the kitchen counter, watching him contently.

"Not yet, my little pudding pie. It takes 45 minutes to bake cookies, and it's only been ten!"

"Oh, can't they cook any faster?"

Scarlet, the young red squirrel, only about 25 at the time, smiled at her adorable bundle of joy. Her eyes turned quickly to the kitchen window, it had been raining for a good four hours, and showed no signs of stopping.

"No, I'm afraid they can't cook faster. But would you like to sing a song? It's your favorite." She kneeled down and took his tiny hands in hers. Chunky's eyes illuminated with the thought

"WOULD I? That song, are we gonna sing that song?

"Yes Chunky, here we go" She began slowly, her voice like honey, an angel's cords could not produce more delicate tones

_Ohhh, the rain rain rain came down down down,_

_In rushing rising…_

She pointed to Chunky, and he threw his arms in the air and sang

_RIVLETS!_

And his mother took over again

_Till the river crept out of its bed,_

_And crept right into_

_PIGLET'S!_

_Poor Piglet he was frightened, with quite a rightful fright, _

_And so in desperation_

_A MESSAGE HE DID WRIIIIITE!_

And Chunky held that last note for a good ten seconds before his mother could continue

_And the rain rain rain came down down down,_

_So Piglet started bailing,_

_He was unaware, atop his chair_

_While baling he was_

_SAILING!_

_And the rain rain rain came down down down,_

_And the flood rose up up upper,_

_Pooh, too, was caught, and so he though_

_I MUST RESCUE MY SUPPER!_

_Ten honey pots he rescued, enough to see him though, _

_But as he sopped up his supper_

_THE RIVER SOPPED UP POOOOOH!  
_Another note, longer than the last bellowed from Chunky, and his mother patted him on the head and said "Very good, you might just be a singer when you grow up"

Chunky smiled with glee and the two sang together

_And the water twirled and tossed him _

_In a honey pot canoe!_

_And the rain rain rain came down down down….._

_Currently_

Chunky was so wrapped up in a warm blanket of memories, he completely missed Nutty's house by a good few blocks, and cursed quietly to himself before turning the bike around.

---------------------------------------------

Aw, now ain't that cute? And yes, my mother did sing that to me when I was little, and I sang those parts Chunky did to her. And just before anyone complains, I'm sorry I got so into the whole Chunky and Petunia SEX(There, I said it) scene, but it was an important milestone in their relationship, and I'm more than a little perverted! So there, Phoenix signing…

Oh wait, and the song is **The Rain Rain Rain Came Down Down Down (Winnie The Pooh And The Blustery Day) Copywright DISNEY**

Now I'm signing out!


	2. Chunky's Problem and Flaky's Solution

**Author's Note**

Well, I've got writer's block, but only a little. I know how I want this story to end, but I'm having trouble with the intermediate stages, like this chapter. I updated UHTFS and Disco Rising first because I just couldn't figure out what I wanted Chunky to do. Well, here's what I've got, and I think it'll work out. And while we're on the subject of the Chunkster, I wanted to share a little information with you about what led to his creation. Beware, some things are best left unknown.

I had recently come in contact with HTF (My YOUNGER brother showed it to me, go figure.) and was hopelessly addicted. I soon found myself frantically scouring the net for a FlakyxFlippy Lemon(Don't judge me) when I stumbled upon a story called "Periwinkle Tulip". Now, up until this time I had thought fanfics were boring and lame rants about how awesome some random dude's character is in someone else's world, but this one was different. It was well written, had an engaging plot, and it made me start enjoying fanfiction! I kept reading fanfics, some here and there, and watching the show, when I decided to make my own character. He needed a quirk, something that made him weird, and fit in with the rest of the HTF's bizarre cast. I decided he would be very overweight, as I once was, lazy, and video game-obsessed (as I still am). But I needed a name and a species, so I settled with Chunky, short, catchy, and fits in with the rest of the cast. (I was gonna use Chubby, but that made me giggle too much.) Then I needed a species, so I first settled on making him Chunky the Chinchilla, but every time I tried to imagine him he looked too much like a mouse, so I trashed the idea. The strangest thing was, I almost made him a frill-lizard, and the idea stuck as I formulated his "Debut Episode" (What's Eating You?), but in the end it seemed weird to have a frill-necked lizard running about chomping on the other HTFs, he just wasn't _cute_ enough to fit in. So soon I had the idea to make him a koala, and Chunky the koala made his debut in Methereapers' Happy Tree Camp! And has been a fan-favorite ever since!

Chunky: Yeah, with all three of my fans.

**Family Reunion**

Nutty, lying sleeping in his pile of candy bar wrappers, finally pulled himself out of his sugar-crash induced coma to find out who was tossing rocks at his window. He lazily listed his way over to the second floor window and pulled it open, getting knocked on the head with a stray pebble.

"GOD! Leave me alone, I haven't even had my second bowl of cookie crisp yet, how do you expect me to be awake?" Nutty looked down and saw Chunky, standing anxiously with a handful of pebbles.

"Nutty! Call Flaky and tell her to get over here ASAP and meet me in your basement!"

"What're talking about? Look, I'm all for a little "morning delight", but both you and Flaky are in separate relationships and I don't feel like getting skinned with a bowie knife today."

"No, you dolt! Just call her and meet me in your basement, you left the door unlocked, right?" Chunky said and began fiddling with the doorknob.

Nutty leaned his still sleepy body down on the window sill and sarcastically responded "Do I have anything ANYONE would want to steal?" And before those last words were out of his mouth, Chunky had opened the door and darted down into Nutty's basement. Nutty shook his head wearily and headed into the kitchen, getting a cup of sugar and adding a spoonful of coffee to it before he picked up the phone.

"Flaky? Yeah, it's Nutty. Chunky's freaking out and his waiting for us in my basement What? Should you bring what? God, where do you shop for these kinda things? Actually, bring those." And he hung up the phone, following Chunky's trail down into the basement.

….25 minutes later……

Flaky, happy to help out her friends, skipped merrily down the lane to Nutty's house, her attire she wore for the occasion had grabbed a few onlooker's attention, including Flippy, who begged her not to go out like this, but she assured him it was for a friend and walked down the street in broad daylight dressed as she was. Finally reaching Nutty's house, she walked right in the still opened door and strode down the steps happy as ever. Chunky, who was busy scribbling on a piece of paper next to an overhead projector, was shocked when she walked downstairs.

Flaky, the sweet and innocent porcupine was clad in a full dominatrix suit, holding a black leather whip and a notably large strap-on. "Okay Chunky, I normally only do this for Flippy, but I can't leave a friend in need."

"GAH! Nutty, what the hell did you tell her?" Chunky said, edging himself nervously against the wall.

Nutty chucked and took another sip of his sugar, "I didn't tell her anything except you were in my basement and desperate, and she kinda assumed what she'd need to do next."

(One explanation later)

"Ohh, so you needed our help for something completely different?" Flaky said, sitting down on a folding chair Nutty had in his basement, waiting for Chunky's "Presentation" to start.

"Yes, quite," He said, powering up the projector, "Here's the real deal. My father"

A slide appears showing a photograph of a large brown bear, around Lumpy's size. He's muscular, with a strong glare in his eyes, topped with bushy eyebrows. His eyebrows were probably the hairiest thing on the top of his head, as he was completely bald.

" Is coming to visit next Friday, but the problem is I've been sending him letters describing my life here in Happy Tree Town, and I've 'Enhanced' the truth."

Another slide appears showing a crudely drawn Chunky, notably slimmer, holding an axe at a construction site. Standing next to him is a blue bear girl(Who resembles Petunia), swooning over him and handing him a sandwich. He's also surrounded by loads of friends.

"You see, I've told him that I've been dating a cute bear girl, I have a load of friends, I've got a job at a construction site, and I've lost a TON of weight."

"Well, hey, at least you didn't lie about the TON thing, you've definitely got that!" Nutty chuckled, until Flaky gave him a glare and motioned for Chunky to continue.

"So I need you guys to help me get my life in order, and while _some _of you may not be the most reliable, you're my best friends, and trust you."

"Oh, of course we'll help you, c'mere Chunky!" Flaky went to hug the koala, but he stepped back and pointed to her waist. She looked down and remembered what she was wearing "Oh, sorry."

"it's alright, we've got a week. Now does anyone have any ideas?" Nutty raised his hand "Ideas that will not humiliate or demean me in public?"

Nutty's hand dropped, but Flaky, deep in thought, raised hers.

"OH! I do! I can help you lose a TON of weight really fast! But, um, it's not gonna be pleasant. Like, really painful." She said.

"How painful?" Chunky was beginning to question the normally trustworthy Flaky.

"Like, REALLY painful. Like there's a good chance of you dying. Like you may wish we went with my original plan"

"Original plan?" Chunky asked and Flaky pointed to the device strapped to her waist. "Oh, that plan. Well, whatever it is, it will help me lose weight, right?"

"Absolutely, you'll lose ten dress sizes in three days!" Flaky stood up and skipped up the stairs, turning to face Chunky one more time before she left. "I have to go to work, but we can meet in the junkyard at six tonight. I'll bring a friend that just may be able to help, see ya!" and with that she was gone, leaving quite a few things unanswered. Finally, Nutty piped up.

"Hey, Chunky, I'm wondering."

"What her plan is?"

"No, if she's gonna forget and go to work like that." Nutty, said, following up with another question. "But what I don't get is, why did you tell your dad you're dating a bear? Wouldn't it be nice just to hear you have a girlfriend at all, or does he have something against skunks?"

"No, he doesn't have anything against skunks, but he always wanted me to date a bear. Ever since I was like eight he was always trying to hook me up with this bear girl in my town named Greta. But she was horrible, and she was always picking on me because I was chubby. She acted like my personal trainer, and forced me to run laps around the playground or she'd push my face in the dirt. It was a love/hate relationship, she loved to hate me."

Nutty stared straight-faced at the koala for a few seconds, before breaking down, laughing hysterically. "You got beat up by a bear-girl named GRETA? HAHAHAHAHAHAH! 'I vell vhip you into shape, you chubby veakling!' HAHAHA!!!!!"

Chunky soon realized this abuse wouldn't stop anytime soon and walked up the stairs of the basement, flicking off the light switch and shutting the door behind him to get back at Nutty. He could still hear the mad squirrel's taunts as he left his sugar coated house.

"C'mon Chunks! Lighten up, or I'll have to get Greta in here to teach you some manners! Maybe she can borrow Flaky's whip!!!

-----------

Well, good new everybody! Over the course of this story, my writer's block cleared up and I've already got the next few chapters planned out, including the next one! It's going to play out like "Kronk's New Groove", if anyone's ever seen that movie.

What could be worse than taking it in the rear from a dandruff-covered porcupine girl? Well, Chunky's gonna find out! Tune in next time for the next exciting adventure!

PHOENIX REECE IS OUT!


	3. Whipped Into Shape

**Author's Note**

Y'know, the school year isn't turning out to be all that bad. That science teacher who was giving me trouble before really isn't so mean. He's just, eccentric, to say the least, plus I aced that test he gave on the first week. Anyhoo, I'm rambling again, so please enjoy

**Family Reunion**

The sun was setting on the old junkyard of Happy Tree Town, where few tend to tread. Not that those people were afraid of dying, however. It's just that the junkyard has so many obvious hazards and, in a town where bedsprings and treadmills kill people daily, why take the risk? That's why Chunky nervously eyed his watch as he waited for Flaky. It was around six o clock, when her grocery store shift usually ends, and she often tries to find more work at another job.

"Poor girl," Chunky thought aloud. He wanted to think more about Flaky's situation, but almost the second he was finished with that thought, she strode through the gates, Flippy in tow. She was still in her tight leather outfit, though she had taken off the strap-on, and seemed angry.

"You alright Flakes?" Chunky finally asked after a long pause.

"Well, I got a lot of tips today at work, which is very unusual for a checkout counter girl, but then my manager had to go and dock my pay! And when I asked why he said 'Lumpy could figure out why you're getting a pay deduction.' But I just don't get it."

Chunky was about to speak up when Flippy motioned behind Flaky's back that she was a little over-worked lately. Then he proceeded to step forward and, with a smile on his face, explained his plan.

"Chunky, the military was tough on me, and I wanted to stay in shape long after I was finished there, so I developed a no-fail four-week plan to lose weight and stay in shape. It's simple really, you-"

"Um sorry, Flippy, but we don't have that kind of time." Flaky said awkwardly, and pulled a pistol out of her pants.

Flippy, almost flipping from the sight of it, was nervous "F-flaky, think about this, do you really want to-"

A shot rang into the air and he began to change, another, and another blasted into the sky and soon Flippy's eyes were a sickening yellow. He grinned vicously at Flaky and tackled her to the ground, pressing her body down to prevent any escape and pressed his lips against hers violently.

"Hello sweetheart, miss me?" He said, finally pulling off of her lips to let her breathe. Chunky, nervous as always, yelled at Evil to get his attention.

"HEY! Green beret! You're mother was a Cong and you're father was a communist!"

Evil, in a rage, leapt off of Flaky pulled his bowie knife out to Chunky's neck, a millimeter away from his jugular. "What the fuck did you just say, maggot?" Evil growled at him and Chunky, nervous as all hell, quickly sputtered out,

"I said I need your help to lose weight, sir!" Chunky said, standing at attention.

"Why should I waste my valuable raping and slaughtering time helping you burn some of those extra tons?"

"Because, the exercises you devise, while useful, would be agonizingly painful and you get a kick out of that, right?" Chunky replied, his knees shaking.

Evil pulled the knife from his neck, placing it in its sheath, and placed on hand on his own chin, contemplating the offer. "Heh, I like the way you think. Sure, I'll help you, now c'mere fatass!" He grabbed Chunky by his midsection and with a grunt, lifted him into the air and carried him over to a trash compactor. It was large, the ones use to crush cars, with four collapsible walls activated with a switch. Evil tossed Chunky in and shouted to him.

"Alright fatass, here's the deal. You've done jumping jacks, right? Well, you're going to be doing those for ten minutes, but there's a catch. You stop, even for a second, and I switch on the walls, which will slowly close in on you. Stop for too long and you die!" He held his watch up to his eye, and placed one hand on the nearby control panel. "Noooow, GO!"

Chunky, dumbfounded, realized he wasn't kidding, and began the jumping jacks. It started out easy, but soon it began to wear on him. He had been doing them for about five minutes when he stopped to take a breath, and heard the sounds of the mechanical walls closing in so he immediately began again. It was painful, and when Chunky finally finished, he was drenched in sweat and his heart felt like it was going to explode. Flaky helped him out of the compactor, which only had a few inches left before it began to squish the poor koala.

"What was that? You said ten minutes, it must have been thirty!" Chunky was aggravated at Evil, but he should have seen this coming.

"Sorry, my watch is slow" Evil chuckled and walked deeper into the junkyard. "Have a Twinkie break fatass, while I get the next workout ready."

Chunky sat on a pile of scrap metal, Flaky rubbing his back encouragingly and within ten minutes, the next of Evil's terrible trials was set.

"Alright you two, c'mere." He called to them, and they found Evil sitting in the seat of a large metal crane. The magnet used to haul metal had a set of pipes arranged into a bar on it, hung just a little above Chunky's head. He walked underneath it, Flaky standing far behind for her own safety, and sheepishly asked.

"Um, what are we doing now?"

Evil groaned and yelled down to him, "Pull ups, dumbass. Just grab the bar and pull yourself up as many times as you can."

"Okay, whatever you say." Chunky grabbed the bar and attempted to pull himself up, but couldn't. He tried again, but to no avail. Then, mustering every ounce of power in his body, pulled himself up with all his might, his chin just passing the bar, then his arms became limp and he dangled just above the ground.

"Okay, how did I do?" Chunky asked, still clinging to the bar.

"Not good enough," Evil turned the key in the crane and its engine roared. The crane lifted Chunky, still holding on to the bar, into the air and hoisted him over the incinerator. Evil chuckled and lowered Chunky down towards the flamed, and in response Chunky pulled himself higher to avoid being burned. Then, as if to show mercy, the bear lifted the crane back up, giving Chunky some rest, but for only a second, and dropped him down to the flames again forcing Chunky to lift himself back up. This sadistic workout continued for a good hour, and when Evil finally let him down, the sun had been down for some time. Chunky gasped and wheezed, desperate to get some air back into his system, as Flippy explained the night's last exercise

"Okay Chunky, we're going to finish off tonight with a brisk run."

Chunky finally steadied himself and asked, "How far? And how fast?"

Evil tossed a steak into his hands and chuckled, "That's for Whistle to decide, now isn't it?" He pulled open a metal gate and a little puppy scurried out. Chunky almost sighed at how cute it was, but when Evil blew a small brass whistle, the dog went insane and started to chase him. As Chunky ran screaming out of the junkyard, Flaky became worried.

"Do you think that was right?" Flaky asked.

"Oh, I think you should be worrying less about fatass, and more for yourself." And she turned to find Evil wearing her strap-on from before, only now it was covered it sharp, jagged, and rusted pieces of metal from the junkyard. Flaky, realizing the hopelessness of the situation, sighed and asked.

"I'm gonna die tonight, aren't I?"

"Oh, I should really hope so, because this is going to be _VERY _painful and death is really the best thing that can happen from this point on." He let out a grim smile, "Now, bend over"

………..

Chunky stood in his boxers, kneeling on the scale to read it better.

"154? I lost ten pounds? Well, that's better than before, but only ten pounds from that torture?" He sighed, slightly relieved he hadn't died.

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Well, I've got nothing to say, please review folks!


	4. Picnic with Petunia

**Author's Note**

Y'know, these little author's notes before and after the story are my signature. It's like sayin' "Hey, not feeling so tough now are ya, pancakes?" Ya know what I mean?

…..

Which is why I've stopped trying to make obscure joke references in my author's notes. And speaking of lame jokes, my science teacher cracked out a real gem today, so here it goes:

"This atom walks into a bar, and he is crying. I mean _BAWLING BOO-HOO SOBBING CRYIN'-YER-EYES-OUT,_ kind of crying. So he goes up to the bartender, but he's crying so hard he can't order a drink, and finally the bartender says 'Hey pal, what's the deal? Wassa matter with you?'

And the atom says 'I lost an electron!'

Bartender looks at him and says 'You sure? You look fine to me'

And the atom says 'Yeah, I'm POSITIVE'"

Badun-pish. Applause, please. Anyway back to what you actually came here for.

**Family Reunion**

Chunky, walking a little lighter now due to last night's workout from hell, was on his way to the park to meet up with Petunia. They didn't meet much outside of school, something Chunky felt more than a little guilty about, so when Petunia heard he wanted to meet her today her voice lit up over the long distance speaker. She insisted on packing a picnic lunch, despite Chunky's repeated efforts to explain to her that it would be a more serious meeting. But it was about midday, a nice spring afternoon, and Chunky was actually kind of happy Petunia packed a picnic, it was a perfect day for one. Suddenly, as if to complement the beautiful spring atmosphere, a honey sweet voice called from the park field.

"Over here Chunks!" Petunia sat on a spread red and white checkered blanket, with two perfect little place settings for Chunky and her. Chunky broke into a mad dash upon spotting her, drawn by Petunia's presence even more than the delectable food he could already smell.

"Petunia, glad I could find you. Now I have to ask-" He began, but Petunia held up one finger and he ceased, she motioned for him to sit, and like a loyal dog he obeyed.

"First, lunch. I spent quite some time finding out what your favorite lunch is, I'm surprised you'd go for something so simple." Chunky's eyes widened as she pulled a small triangle out of the picnic basket. It was a sandwich, a simple combination of lettuce, tomato, cheese, and a few slices of bologna wedged between two pieces of bread, held together with a toothpick and topped with an olive. It seemed normal, but the very sight of it made Chunky's mouth water. Petunia placed it on his plate and he quickly snatched it up, taking enormous bites.

"You sure do love sandwiches, don't you?" She giggled as Chunky continued chewing

He swallowed and laughed, speaking in a loud, surprisingly well-imitated Russian accent "OF COURSE LITTLE GIRL! Sandvich make me STRONG!" He took another bite, making loud, comical chewing noises "OM NOM NOM NOM! Don't cry, little girl, it's only BOLOGNA!"

Petunia, despite her best efforts, was powerless to her boyfriend's comedic power, and was soon rolling along the blanket clutching her sides. They seemed like a pretty happy couple, a skunk and a koala.

"Who'da guessed?" Nutty sat on a hill nearby, watching the two. He leaned back against the strong oak tree behind him. Pulling another snickers from his pocket, he munched the chocolate treat happily, as much contented with the couple's happiness as they themselves were. "Heh, you've come a long way Chunkster, a looong way.

But even Nutty from his high perch atop the hill couldn't have seen the danger that awaited the two before it was too late.

………

Music, rock music, blared over the speaker's of Cuddles' bright yellow sports car. He drove with the top down along the shoreline, it was the _only_ way to travel for him, which began to infuriate Giggles, sitting in the passenger seat.

"Cuddles, I know you like the wind in your hair, or puffball as the case may be, but can you at the very least turn off this music! I think I'm gonna go deaf!" she said, clutching her ears. Surprisingly, Cuddles flipped the top back over the car.

"I thought you always liked the wind?" She asked

"Yeah, but I love this song more!" Cuddles said, laughing. He became a little more serious when Giggles pulled the small golden trinket from her backpack once again. It was a small gold idol, covered with grime and dirt,that sat clutching its own knees with a perpetual scowl carved into its face "Gigs, please, put that thing away. I mean, it's bad enough you had to take it off the beach."

She began to polish it with a small cloth, and gave a satisfied smile when some of the gold shone through. "Oh, come on now, this thing is tre chic, you've gotta love an ancient Mayan theme! Besides, it must be worth a fortune.

Cuddles glanced over at the statue as the pulled into town, and gave a disgusted shudder, "Please, Giggles, for me. Put it away, the face on it just gives me the creeps." Giggles finally gave a disappointed sigh and stashed the idol in her backpack, putting the straps back around her arms. As they drove along, Giggles, for whatever reason, felt the need to freshen up, and pulled out a tiny bottle of perfume. What she didn't realize though, was that the spray nozzle was on backwards, and sprayed a concentrated shot of the liquid into Cuddles eyes. With an agonized scream, he clutched his eyes in unholy pain, while in turn letting go of the wheel. Giggles, panicking and terrified, flung the door open and leapt from the car, tumbling to a halt and letting out a relaxed sigh as she had just barely survived. That was all she had time to do, though, as she had tumbled onto Mole's vegetable field and he was just rolling by with his enormous harvester. She wouldn't die today though, but she would lose her legs, almost permanently, and along the way she lost a piece of herself that was holding her back. But, that's another story for another day.

Meanwhile, Cuddles, still speeding out of control, was headed straight for the crosswalk where officer Lumpy was doing traffic. It was a little odd, though, as he was fully armed with a taser, nightstick and a pistol as he directed traffic. He was muttering something about a "stupid armless police chief, stickin' me with the scrub work" when he noticed the car barreling down at him. He only had time to scream one thing before the car plowed viciously into him:

"TELL MY CABBAGES I LOVED THEM!!!!!"

And he was hit full force with a wildy swerving car and thrown under. The impact killed him, but his corpse was snagged on the undersides of the car and was dragged along in a disgusting scraping manner as the car continued it's out of control rampage and swerved in the direction of Happy Tree Community Park.

…..

Chunky, satisfied with his meal, was lying on Petunia's lap as she softly petted the white puffball on the top of his head.

"So, you do know that the First of May Spring Dance is coming up, right?" Petunia asked.

"Oh yeah, that's what they're setting up for right now aren't they?I saw Sniffles and Toothy laying down a foundation for a stage. When is it again?"

"This coming Friday, would you care to escort me?" She asked, with a "come hither" tone.

But Chunky was overcome with the shock of what the "sandvich" had distracted him from. He lifted his head off her lap and held her hand nervously. "Petunia, I need to ask you something important, please, hear me out."

"Chunky, you know you can ask me anything, now what-LOOKOUT!" She shoved him out of the way as the sports car tore into the picnic, and crashed into a nearby tree. Chunky, slightly unaware of what was going on, scrambled to his feet and ran shaking to the point of impact. Cuddles was unfortunate enough to have the airbag not deploy, and his face was reduced to a pulp on the steering wheel. Petunia was even less fortunate, though, as the car had pinned her to the tree, not being enough to kill her. She was practically split in half, the car being the only thing holding her together. She gasped in pain and breathlessness until Chunky approached her. She groaned, and looked over to him

"Chunky, please, I'm, I'm in a lot of pain. Kill me. I can't die soon enough on my own. Please find something to kill me." Chunky, tearing up at the sight of his love in such pain, darted frantically around the car crash to find something to end her misery with, when he noticed a blue arm sticking out from under the car. "Lumpy was working as an officer today, he must have something" He thought and slowly dropped to his knees and nearly vomited at the sight of the gore pile that was once Lumpy. He reached slowly into the bloody mess and pulled off his police vest, shaking the contents of it onto the blood stained grass, he found the pistol.

Petunia, still gasping for breath, was in an unimaginable hell of pure pain when Chunky presented the pistol to her. She gave a weak smile and Chunky leaned in and kissed her, while slowly bringing the pistol to her head.

"Let the last moments be good ones" he thought, and pulled the trigger as a violent crash blasted through the skunk's skull. A mercy kill, he had done what was right. But, killing something you love is still never easy.

"Forget about it, she was in pain, you did the right thing. Besides, she'll be back in the hospital of life by tomorrow. Just forget-" He whispered to himself, but suddenly a violent rush of electricity tore through his foot and up his entire being. In a horrific twist of fate, the taser from Lumpy's uniform lay switch up on the blood and _gasoline_ soaked grass right where Chunky had stepped. He fell, still paralyzed, as the electric rush ignited the fuel and engulfed him in a ball of agonizing flame.

And then, darkness.

It had happened a few times a week, this whole "dying" ritual. You'd die, and it would feel as if you were in a dream, and you'd wake up in the same place every time, an empty bed at the Happy Tree Hospital, the "Hospital of Life". No one was sure why, but only intellectuals like Sniffles had ever cared to try and find out. The white lights of the hospital room flooded his eyes as they always did, and Chunky noticed someone had removed his glasses. He reached over toward the nightstand next to him and affixed them once again to his face. Without them, he couldn't see two feet in front of him, but now he saw the bed next to him, a cute little skunk propped up with pillows to watch the television above her bed. Usually, one would only have to stay a minimum of six hours in the hospital, because even when you're revived, you feel kind of sick, especially if you move around a lot. Almost like a stomach flu, but it also cause some random paralysis. Once again, no one cared to learn about the phenomenon but Sniffles, who still couldn't crack the code.

"Good morning sunshine. In case you're wondering, it's Saturday, you were only here a day." She smiled, and Chunky returned the grin. He looked around the room, but surprisingly he only found Flaky, sitting nervously in the hospital bed across from him.

"Hey Flakes, what happened, a mishap with Evil?" Chunky joked, but Flaky shrieked at him and started sobbing while clutching her teddy bear.

Petunia called his attention back to her, and half whispered to him "She's been acting strangely ever since she was revived yesterday morning. She's only talking to girls, and told Giggles to bring her a chastity belt and her teddy bear from home yesterday. Not only that, but she's been here two days and claims that she can't walk because of the pain. Must be a psychological thing, I guess. Now, I think you wanted to tell me something didn't you?"

Chunky took a deep breath, and explained his situation in full, ending with "And I need you to dress up as a bear for the dance. Please?"

Petunia was almost furious with his request, "Now why on earth would I do that? And what's so important about your dad anyway?"

Chunky felt a wave of misery, and explained with his tone quivering, "Petunia, you just don't understand. My step-dad, my DAD gave so much to my family. When we were having money problems he was working two jobs to support us, he always did 110% for us, and he loved us with a passion. It's just that, I was always such a disappointment to him. He signed me up for football, and I always ran the wrong way. He took me hunting, I nearly shot another hunter. We went fishing, and I got my hook caught in his ear. I just want one chance to show him that I've done something with my life, that he didn't sacrifice so much for nothing."

Petunia was moved by his sentiments, and finally agreed, "Alright, but just this once, I really don't think this is the right way to go about this though."

Chunky, however, was too busy formulating the next part of his new life to hear anything but "Alright"

--------------------------------------------------------

Dang, but I'm good. You know, I was almost going to go a comedic route with Petunia pinned to the tree and have Chunky miss her vitals a bunch of times, so he shot her but didn't kill her by mistake. But I figured I'd try a more serious route this time and I think it worked out well.

Tune in next time for an incredible show, featuring Flaky, clad only in bubble wrap, performing her world famous "Lawn Chair Handcuff Dance" to the sounds of iced tea being stirred. *Is hit in the head with a jar of mysterious yellow liquid, the jar shatters and I fall to the ground drenched in it*

Me: ARGH! PORCUPINE PISS!

Flaky: *walks on screen holding another of the same jar.* Let that be a lesson to you!

Me: *rolling around on the floor in disgust* I HAVE BEEN SHOWN WHO IS THE BOSS!

Chunky: *Walks on screen quite startled*Flaky, why are you carrying around jars of your own piss?

Flaky: Does it matter? He's the one covered in it now.*Throws the second jar on me*

Me: Oh God! Some of it went in my mouth, no, scratch that! MOST of it went in my mouth!

Chunky: Well, I don't think Phoenix is in any condition to sign off today. Care to join me Flakes? *She nods* I'm Chunky the koala!

Flaky: And I'm Flaky, master of Jarate: The jar-based karate!*

Together: Signing off!

*Please note, Jarate is neither affiliated with nor is a substitute for karate


	5. Chunky's Fear

**Author's Note**

Well, you can't keep a good author down, and just like a true phoenix I have risen from my ashes with a little help from my friends. I will continue to upload stories as often as I can, which hopefully will be quite often. Finishing Family Reunion has been on my To-Do list for a while, and it's a little refreshing to get back to Chunky for a little while before I finish Disco Rising and move on to bigger and more expansive projects. Speaking of which my recent poll has so far been leaning towards ­**One World**, my Mega-crossover epic, with **Xiaolin Showdown: The Other Dragons,** my Xiaolin Showdown fic, close behind. BUT, I've only gotten 7 votes so far, and I know I've got more readers than that! 'Cmon, I wanna hear from you guys! But, anyhoo, please kick back, relax and enjoy

**Family Reunion**

Sniffles and Toothy, the day after Petunia's bloody incident with Cuddles' new sports car, were out in the park building the stage for the coming dance. While they would be mourning Petunia and Chunky's gruesome deaths, they were just lucky to survive along with the stage they had been tirelessly building.

"Yeah right Toothy, sure." Sniffles groaned, growing tired with his friends endless stories

"No, I swear it's true! A bear and a cat were firing lazer blasts at some wolf chick out in the woods!" Toothy said, getting excited at the memory "And then the bear started glowing and, and…"

"What were you doing out in the woods alone in the first place, Toothy?"

"Masturbating to pictures of Cuddles," He said plainly, but suddenly recoiled and nervously said "I mean, um masturbating to pictures of Giggles? I MEAN, um, taking a walk?" Sniffles put down the plank he was carrying and placed his hands squarely on his hips, looking at him in disbelief.

Finally, Toothy sighed and hung his head "Masturbating to pictures of Cuddles….."

"That's what I thought, now help me with my wood" Sniffles said, and Toothy perked up at this suggestion.

"Well if you insist, I'd love to-"

But he was cut off by Chunky who had just arrived from the hospital

"Uh, hey guys, I just wanted to know if you maybe had a job for me on the construction crew?" He asked, nervously approaching the foundation for the stage. "Is Handy around?"

Sniffles adjusted his glasses and sighed, "Negatory, he's taking a temp job over at the police department. Which makes me feel much better knowing Lumpy's not supposed to be proctecting us."

Toothy chuckled, "ah, but would you rather have and idiot police officer or one without arms?" and the three gave a chuckle before Chunky decided he would have to pull off the last part of his plan on his own if it would impress his father.

"Hey guys, take the rest of the day off and hand me the blueprints, I'm gonna build the rest of the stage!" Chunky said with a hearty grin.

Sniffles gave him a suspcious look "Why? And as if you could possibly handle such a task on your own."

"Pishaw, this is a piece of cake. Hammering stuff, and nailing stuff, and um, screwing stuff?" Chunky slowly trailed off, but Toothy inched himself closer.

"Oh do, please go on!" He said, but Sniffles had had enough, and tugged on his tail to drag him away.

"Fine, -Koala, you build the stage, I'm gone." He tossed the blue prints behind him and dragged Toothy close behind.

"Oooh, where we goin' sweetie?" Toothy giggled.

"I think it's about time I isolate that gay gene everyone's been talking about, and you're the perfect subject."

"Oh, well if it's a gene donation I'd loooove to help out."

"Just shut up.

Chunky, now alone, could begin his work. He took the handsaw and began to cut the pieces of wood to the exact measurements of the blue prints, but the task was much bigger than he had thought, and his mind began to wander. Thoughts drifted to Petunia and their picnic yesterday. He was so full, contented, and there he was laying on her lap in the warm grass. She was gorgeous as usual, beams of sunlight caught in her shining fur and her long bushy tail passing gently over his body in calm sweeps. If only, that car hadn't hit her. If only they had more time alone, stayed there until late at night when he could take her again, when he could….

**SNAP!**

Chunky realized he has foolishly sawed straight through the workbench and sent the nails and tools atop it spilling across the grass. He recoiled in shock, expecting to be struck by some unseen force. Some punishment for his carelessness that he had grown so familiar with. His father. The punishment was always the same, but it still terrified him to think of it. He rubbed the back of his head and cringed at the thought most memorable incident.

_Flash back, _

Chunky was ten, laying on his bed reading some videogame magazine. He couldn't remember which, his subscripiton had been cancelled years ago. He had been left alone that day, as he oft was, but he was never afraid. His mother always left food out for him and his step-father wasn't never home terribly late. It was 7 o' clock when he heard the door swing open and his father trunge upstairs. He stood in the doorway to the room, unbeknownst to the koala lounging on his bed, until his growl jolted him off the pillows.

"You forgot to lock the door." He snarled.

"Huh?" Chunky only managed to turn his head from the magazine.

"Don't 'what' me! And get your fat ass up when I talk to you!" His voice was no louder, but much angrier. Chunky lunged up and stood staring at his father's face, but avoiding his eyes. They were intense and full of fury, staring into them was like gazing into the sun. "Why didn't you lock the door?" He said,

Chunky, frightened by his towering father, stuttered "I-I don't know. I guess I just must have forgotten."

"Forgotten? BULLSHIT!" His enormous paw lashed out and struck the side of Chunky's head, knocking his glasses off and causing him to fall clinging to the side of the bed.

"I-I-I'm sorry, dad, please…" Chunky tried to right himself, completely forgetting to pick up his glasses, he wouldn't risk it.

"Sorry, SORRY? You could have been killed! Do you think your mother and I work this hard to support this house just to let you fucking forget to lock the door, so anyone could just waltz in here, kill you and take everything we own? And you didn't forget, you didn't care, did you?"

"I- I d-d-d-do care, I'm sorry, I won't let it happen again. It was c-c-…." He sputtered off crying.

"It was what? WHAT?" Grizzly grabbed his son by the shoulders and forced him to look directly at him.

"It was careless, and stupid, and I'm sorry. I'M SORRY!" Chunky finally broke down crying and fell to the floor.

"You fat, spoiled little baby." He growled, standing up and walking out of the room. "Brush your teeth and go to bed. And don't even think of turning on any of those little games or they're mine."

He flicked the lights off, leaving Chunky alone in the darkness to cry……

_The Present_

Chunky snapped out of the vivid daydream and quickly scooped up the tools and got back to work. Within twenty minutes he finished the top of the stage. It was sloppy, but with his father's shadow looming over his head Chunky only wanted to get away from what he had built simply because it reminded him too much of his dad. Tucking the tools and the spare nails under the wooden frame of the stage, Chunky sprinted off

toward the junkyard, he had another workout with Flippy.

Yikes, I hope I didn't hit any wounds with anyone. I felt like this chapter would be harder to write, but it was actually pretty easy. I guess because my stepdad and I have reconciled over the past. And please, just because this story is based off of my life doesn't mean you should all be calling child protective services. My dad hit me, I was a bad kid, and now I'm more mature and can handle my own. So there.

This has been Phoenix Reece (In a Mario Costume), saying so long and have a Happy Halloween!


	6. First of May

**Author's Note**

Y'know, I was expecting a big "welcome back" party when I started posting again, but I hardly get noticed…..

Maybe everyone forgot about me? Or, maybe I just wasn't gone that long…….

Anyhow, about the story, this is the second to last chapter, so it's time to answer the important. will Chunky's father believe his new life? Will everything go as planned? Will Petunia be pretty as a bear, and can she hold her liqour well? Will Disco and Flaky sing a dirty song? Well, I'll give you the last one, yes they will. Now, onto the story, 'cause it's the first of may!

**Family Reunion**

_At Petunia's House_

Petunia stood in front of the mirror, adjusting her flower for the 50,000th time while Giggles sat on the couch popping bubble gum bubbles impatiently. Giggles finally snapped at her

"God, come on! The flower's okay, and you didn't leave the oven on, AND you hung the laundry out to dry, now can we get this whole "costume" of yours ready? Cuddles and Chunky are gonna be here to pick us up any minute for the dance!"

Petunia blushed a little and turned away from the mirror, "S-sorry, I'm trying to, I just get a little worked up before big things like this. When Chunky and I went on our first date I re-adjusted every picture frame in the house and alphabatized my DVD collection twice."

"Well, let's get going sister! We don't have all night to make you as bear, though I can't believe you agreed to that."

"Well, it should be easy, I mean, you're a bear, right?"

Giggles gasped and began huffing, her speech speeding up and becoming inaudible "I'm a chipmunk! Chipmunk! CHIPMUNK! Why does everyone think I'm a bear, y'know cuddles thought I was a bear until our third date and lumpy still thinks I'm a bear even though I told him like thirtythousand times! Andyouwouldn'"

"GIGGLES! Calm down, please, let's just get this over with. Come over here and take this, you know what to do right?" Petunia handed her a corset and, taking a deep breath, coiled her tail around her body. Giggles slipped the garmet over Petunia and tied it quickly, then, with a huff, she tugged the strings on the back to tighten it just enough to barely let her breathe. Petunia groaned in pain, and sighed

"Oh, this is gonna be a long night. Chunky sure as hell better apreciate this!"

Then, the two slipped on their dresses. Giggles went for a long red dress accented with roses, and a large ribbon on her back. Petunia went for something simpler, a dark velvet dress with dark green accents running along her sides. The two looked stunning, and without her bushy tail, Petunia really did look like a bear.

_Earlier, at Chunky's house_

"So, waddaya think? Chunky flexed a few times in his suit, to show off his (slightly) slimmer physique. Flaky, who was wearing a pink dress for the occasion, clapped her hands and nodded encouragingly

"You look great Chunky, like Tom Cruise, if he was a Koala!" But Nutty, who had worn his favorite tuxedo (The one with the _Good _candy stuck to it.) couldn't help but laugh,

"Yeah, you're right, he does look gay and insane!"

Flaky huffed, "Tom Cruise is NOT gay!"

"Suuuuuure" Nutty laughed, "and neither is Chunky"

Chunky was getting a more than a little ticked off "Hey! I'm not gay!"

"Ooooh, touchy!" Nutty giggles, stuffing a peppermint in his mouth.

"God, why did I even invite you?"

"Because I'm your bestest friend in the whole wide world, and I hooked you up with Petunia to begin with!" Nutty pointed out, as Disco entered wearing a gaudy gold and silver Elvis-like suit. "Hey, it's the king!"

Disco pulled down his shades to look at Nutty slyly "Uh, thank ya, thank ya very much!" He imitated, then turned to Flaky "You ready to go, sweetstuff?"

Nutty's eyes darted between the two, flabberghasted "You're going with Disco to the dance? Wow, I guess Flippy messed you up pretty bad when he, ahem, "rear-ended" you, huh?"

Flaky's eye twitched, and she fell to the ground crying and clutching her posterior "NOOOO! STAY BACK!!!!!"

Chunky ran to help her up, and gave her a hug to reasure her "It's alright, no one's gonna, um, do that to you." He turned to Nutty, whispering "Are you an idiot? Sniffles says we can't mention that kind of stuff to her, she's got minor PTSD from the incident! And besides, she's not going with him on a date, they're singing a duet at the dance!"

Just then, as if to break up the awkwardness of the whole incident, Lumpy called from the kitchen "Uh, Guy, help, I'm stuck?" The group followed Chunky into the kitchen to find the lovable blue moose with his eyeball caught in the refridgerator's ice dispenser, struggling to escape. Disco stepped forward and asked

"Okay Lumpy, just tell me what you were _trying_ to do when this happened."

"Well," He began "The leprechaun told me"

"Stop, that's all I need to now. Crushed or cubed?"

"Cubed, please" And Disco pressed the corresponding button releasing Lumpy's eye.

Flaky tilted her head and looked at him queerly "How did you know that would work?"

"This happened twelve times in the past…. No, I _wish_ I was kidding." Disco said squarely.

"Nuh-uh!" Lumpy protested "Three of those times were in the sink faucet!"

"Lumpy" Chunky pleaded "Please tell me you remember what you're supposed to do to

tonight." Lumpy shook his head "Okay, try to remember this, you're supposed to take my Dad, the big bear dude I showed you the picture of, and when he gets here,"

"OH! I remember, you get behind him and I push!" he cheered.

"Not exactly, I need you to take him around town a little, have some fun with him so I can meet with Petunia and make sure everything goes according to plan"

"Right, and then I push!" Lumpy said, happily.

"Yes Lumpy, then you push…." Chunky said with a sigh. Just then, a pair of headlights shined through the living room window, signaling Cuddles had arrived. "Alright, ready to go Nutty?"

Nutty, who was currently attempting to convince Lumpy that kittens were in his intestines and trying to claw their way out, turned happily and said "Yep, let's get this train wreck a-rolling!"

_Currently(Around 7 pm),__ the drive to the dance_

Their ride was severely downgraded, much to Cuddles' displeasure, from his bright yellow sports car, to Handy's pickup truck, which Handy had allowed Cuddles to borrow after he, Sniffles, and Toothy set up the lighting for the dance in his absence. He drove, and Giggles rode shotgun, Petunia was in the backseat, positioned between Chunky and Nutty. Flaky and Disco of course went ahead to the dance while Cuddles was picking up the girls so they could get ready for the performance. Giggles let out a sigh and leaned her head out of the window,

"Well, we may not get to the dance in style, but at least we're getting there in a car!" She said, and Cuddles, without turning from the road, snapped back at her.

"Well, we might still have my car if _SOMEONE _didn't have to take that freakin' idol back from the beach!"

"This again? Well excuse me! I don't mention half the dumbass shit you do for kicks, and I find buried treasure and you just can't let it go!" The small quarrel quickly escalated into a full screaming match, much to the terror of the passangers in the truck.

"Um, Petunia?" Chunky asked nervously, "Do you think we'll be like this after we've been together awhile?"

"I hope not," Petunia turned to him and remarked, slightly frightened.

"Well, it might not be too bad…" Nutty said, pointing to the front. The argument was apparently over, because now Cuddles and Giggles were now making out. This waas mildly disturbing, but it became terrifying to Chunky when a sudden realization set in,

"Who's watching the ro-," But he was cut off when the car crashed into the stone fence surrounding the park. It was pretty terrifying, but surprisingly no one was hurt. Everyone had fastened their seatbelts earlier and the airbag deployed safely. Cuddles let out a sigh of relief,

"Wow, that's gottta be a record! A car crash in Happy Tree Town and no one was killed!" He stepped out to find Mime, Kneeling on the ground next to the car. "Hey Mime, what's the matter, lose a contact lens or something?" Mime made a horrified face, pointed to the car, and began crying,

Giggles, who had followed him out, cocked an eyebrow at the sight, "He okay?"

"Lost a contact lens I think, it's probably under the wreck."

She kneeled to comfort Mime, who was still crying "Awww, it's okay, maybe if you hurry you can pick up a new one before the dancing starts!" But, Mime didn't move, and the group left without another word to him. Just as they left though, Mime reached under the car wreck to pull a blood drenched pirate hat from underneath it and clutched it, crying.

The dance was a spectacular event, as it always was, because the citizens of the town worked hard to put on the traditional dance. The exact reason to celebrate the First of May wasn't quite clear, as generations ahd long forgotten, but it was often a celebration of spring and leaving the cold days of winter behind. The entire park was redone with food vendors, games, and contests. Lanterns hung from the trees as fireflies danced through the park as if to celebrate themselves, and everywhere residents of the town could be seen enjoying a meal and the company of their friends and family. Chunky and Petunia had not problem finding friends.

"Hey Flippy," Chunky called to the veteran, who was enjoying a picnic lunch with Sniffles and Toothy. They were all clad in tuxes, and Flippy oddly didn't have his beret.

"Hey Flip, what happened to your hat, I thought it was your favorite?"

Flippy blushed a little, and Sniffles explained "A couple of days ago I was working on my pan-dimensional vortex machine, which allows me to replace anything in space anywhere in any dimension with anything else, when Flipped-out and killed me. Sometime in the struggle, though, his hat was knocked off and fell into the vortex."

"Yeah, sorry about that, I've flipped out a lot lately, it's starting to become hard to control. Did you ever figure out where the hat ended up?" Flippy asked

"It could be anywhere! I mean, the machine still hasn't been perfected, so it could have swapped with another object in an alternate dimesnion for all I know! But in the meantime you can still wear the hat that took it's place." Sniffles said, and produced a red soldier's helmet.

Flippy cringed, almost flipping out, "Uh, no thanks, for all of our safety. Hey, is the band starting soon?"

Petunia laughed, remembering Disco's get-up and turned to the stage, "ooh, I think you're right! Let's go dance Chunky!"

"Um, I don't think I can, I'll just chill by the punch bowl, if that's alright…" Chunky said nervously and scurried to the table near the edge of the dance floor, Petunia close behind.

The main dance hall was a giant stage placed in front of the lake, where a simple plastic dancefloor had been assembled in front. For a while, it just played popular dnace songs over a large set of speakers, but the live band had finally assembled, Flaky singing, Handy on the drums, and Cuddles playing the accoustic guitar. The only one not on the stage was Disco, who had only stopped to get a "warm up drink". Finally, when Cuddles had waited long enough, he called to their lead singer.

"Hey fatass, you ready or what?"

Taking a last gulp from a silver flask of vodka he had brought, Disco placed it near the punchbowl and ran up to the stage. The shaking from his dash, however, knocked the flask over, causing the colorless and near odorless alchohol to spill into the punch, before the flask itself fell to the ground, leaving no evidence. Disco took his place on stage and spoke to the crowd

"In honor of the First of May, I've written this little number to show you all what the first means to me! And I've gotten the talented Miss Flaky to sing along with me, give her a round of applause folks!" The crowd cheered, and Flaky did a little pirrouette in her long rend dress.

Disco took a bow and signaled for the band to start, as a single spotlight shone on him. He sang slowly as Cuddles played a mellow tune on the guitar.

_I woke up this morning  
I had a scone and a large house blend  
Then a little conversation  
With my squirrel and chipmunk friends  
I said I'm sick and tired of winter  
And I wish that it was spring  
Then a little fella named Robin Redbreast began to sing__she sang:_

And

(He pointed to Flaky, and a spotlight illmuniated her as she sang beautifully)_  
Ooh child, what you think, the cold winter's gonna last forever?  
Ooh child, now's the time for all the people to get together  
Outside  
_(Disco and Flaky broke out in song together as the beat picked up)_  
'Cause it's the First of May  
First of May  
Outdoor fucking starts today  
So bring your favorite lady  
Or at least your favorite lay  
Water's not cold, baby, dip in your big toe  
Maybe I'll see you in flagrante delicto  
Grass below you, sky above  
Celebrate spring with a crazy little thing called  
Fucking outside…_

And the song only got more lewd as it went along. The crowd was disgusted, but the tune was good, and they couldn't resist dancing. Everyone was up and having fun, aside from Chunky and Petunia, who were standing by the punch table awkwardly.

"Umm, Chunky, are we gonna dance, or what?" Petunia asked, slightly saddened.

"Well, I'm not that good.. Besides, if you dance you're costume might come undone, and we wouldn't want that to spoil the plan, would we?" Chunky said, thinking that would stop her from asking. "Now, um, how about I get you some funnel cake, huh?"

Chunky ran off without and answer, and Petuia gave a depressed sigh. She picked up a cup and poured herself a cup of punch. Taking a sip, she began to feel a little pissed off, and starting grumbling under her breath as she poured another cup "Stupid koala and his stupid father(Gulp, another cup), he won't even dance with me and I'm his girlfriend! (Swig, another cup) why the hell am I doing dish…(Another cup), he sho, friggin shtupid! I ca-can't belive he's (Gulp) hesh the wun I let take my.. my…" She trailed off, her cheeks slowly turning a bright red with each cup.

Meanwhile, the stage began to bend and creek as Disco danced across it, and a single nail popped out from the side….

Uh oh, looks like if something can go wrong, it TOTALLY WIIL. Especially if it's the HTFs we're talking about. Oh, and the song is called **First of May by Jonathan Coultan**. Were you offended? GOOD! Next chapter, the climactic climax as Chunky's father arrives on the scene, and if you couldn't guess already, not everything's going to go according to plan…..

OH! And don't forget to take part in the poll on my profile, your opinion matters!


	7. Who's Your Daddy? or Mommy

**Author's Note**

Well hey howdy hey folks! It's your buddy Phoenix Reece updating from balmy Florida. I came up here to visit my grandma for thanksgiving, and she's got a computer!! On an unrelated note, I now hate the apple corporation. Here's what happened when I tried to get my iPod Video repaired. (Its screen was cracked)

Me: Um excuse me, do you do repairs?

Cashier guy: Certainly sir, what model and year?

Me: Uh, I think it's a fifth generation Video, says 2007 on the back

CG: Ohhh, sorry sir, we no longer repair that model, but you can trade it in for a refurbished one!

Me: So wait, you've repaired these things in the past? Like, possibly a year or two after it's release?

CG: Uh-huh.

Me: And I can only assume you're going to repair and resell mine once I trade it in?

CG: Precisely.

Me: *disgruntled sigh* how much is the refurbished model?

CG: $130

Me: For a two-year old used iPod that you no longer repair?

CG: Yes.

Me: *A long series of enraged choking noises followed by a defeated sigh* Do you accept check?

A little random yes, but everyone enjoys having a nice rant now and again. I mean, aside from mocking people anonymously and porn, I think that's what the Internet was made for. But all this talk must be breaking the magic of the story, so let's get back on track. This is it! THE LAST CHAPTER OF FAMILY REUNION!

**Family Reunion**

Chunky was desperately trying to force his way through the crowds on his way to the stand selling funnel cakes, at the same time trying to keep an eye out for any sign of his father. He didn't want to keep Petunia waiting, considering how much she was doing for him right now. " I just wish she didn't ask me to dance, she knows I can't do stuff like that" He thought aloud. It's not that he couldn't dance, he just never tried. It was always too embarrassing anyway, when you're Chunky's size it's much less dancing and much more unwanted jiggling. He blushed a little at the thought of being laughed off the dance floor, embarrassing both him and Petunia.

"Better off this way, she just doesn't know it yet." He mumbled under his breath, finally reaching the snack stand.

Meanwhile, Disco was dancing his furry rump off on the stage. Flaky, on the other hand was standing off to the side, stifling her laughter at him as they sang.

_Ooh child, I'll bring a blanket and I promise I will brush the ants off  
Ooh child, you're gonna like it when we're taking each other's pants off  
Outside_

_Cause it's the first of May, first of Ma-_

Then, with a creek and a snap of wood, Disco disappeared from the audience's sight. The band abruptly stopped playing and several friends rushed onto the stage to find out what had happened. Flaky and the other band members, as they were closest to the accident, were shocked to find a portion of the stage had collapsed. On the ground underneath was Disco, mangled and maimed violently by a pile of sharp power tools that were messily stuffed underneath the stage. Manly others came to witness the most violent death of the day, including a certain green bear who had only come for Flaky's performance. Now Flippy had been fighting his demons for some time and since his arrival in Happy Tree Town, where gore and mutilation were so frequent, he had learned to stifle Evil in the sight of violence and mild reminders of the war, the only real triggers now were firearms and explosions. But, due to a recent string of Flip-outs, he now had considerably less control over Evil and at the sight of the mangled Disco he immediately flipped-out. He let out a low growl as his eyes changed to their familiar beastly yellow and began cackling sinisterly. Evil was now in control, and his eyes darted around for prey, landing on poor little Flaky. She began to breathe heavily, realizing what was happening and backed away, but Evil pounced on her, pinning her to the ground.

"Why hello sweetheart! Care to dance, or shall we just skip to the fun part?" He said, letting his hot breath graze her face and chest as he began to tear away her dress.

"Excuse me, but contrary to Mr. Disco's song, this is not the kind of behavior we endorse on the first of May." A triumphant voice called, causing Evil to turn and face Splendid, who had just arrived on the scene at the sound of the screams. Before the demon could draw his bowie knife to fight, the infamous hero reeled back and threw a bone shattering hook, literally breaking Evil's jaw and sending him flying into a tree, the subsequent impact shattering his spine. Flaky leapt into his arms as the hero consoled her, though for the other residents this was anything but a heart-warming moment for the other people gathered around the stage.

"Nice job Sniffles, you and Toothy Finally pulled it off!" Cuddles yelled to the crowd, "Twenty years and we've never had a death on the first of May, and you two mutilate Disco by screwing up the stage!" It was true, the first of May was such a joyous time of the year that everyone did their part to keep everyone else safe, and they hadn't had a death since twenty years ago, when Cub's mother…

Well, actually, we're getting away from the main story. We'll tell that one another day.

The angry crowd began to close in on Sniffles and Toothy, when Sniffles took a defiant step forward and yelled over the chanting of the mob "_We _didn't do anything! Chunky showed up and wanted to build the stage all by himself, so we let him! It's his fault, kill the koala, not us!"

On those words the crowd turned to Chunky, who had just returned with his snack. He stared blankly at them before realizing what was going on, dropped his funnel cakes, and sprinted in the opposite direction. He was actually outrunning them, and turned to blow a raspberry in their direction. Unfortunately he didn't notice the big yellow taxi that had pulled up in front of the park's front gate and ran into it headfirst. When his vision steadied, Chunky was on his back and looking up at a familiar large brown bear.

"D-dad?" he asked skeptically.

"Son, what's going on here?" He asked, his voice calm and tinged with a slight anger. He pointed to the crowd "And who are they?"

Chunky scrambled to his feet and nervously replied, "Uh, um, y'see, there was this little mishap with the construction crew"

"He ruined out celebrations and killed our lead singer!" A voice, Handy called from the crowd. The everyone else in the mob clamored in agreement.

"Is this true?" Grizzly stared down at him.

Chunky averted his gaze, and nervously muttered "Uh yeah, but it was an accident, y'see I," But before he had to make anything else up, a figure parted her way through the crowd. It was Petunia, a beacon of hope who could help him cover this mess up, but she looked different. Her eyes were only half open, her face bright red, and she stumbled left and right as she walked to him.

"DAD! This is my girlfriend Petunia, she can explain everything" Chunky happily introduced her to the confused bear.

"FUCK OFF!" Petunia shouted and shoved him backwards "I can **hic** talk for mahself you stupid fah-fah-**hic** fatass! Listen you stoopid ugly fat fuck, I hate you and I **hic** hate your stoopid father! Won't even fucking dance with me after all he stupid shit I do for you!" she grabbed something around her neck and threw it at him. "And let me, **hic** remind you about something! I'm A SKUNK! HEAR ME? A SKUNK!" And she turned and flipped up the back of her dress, revealing a long silky tail, and that she wasn't wearing underwear.

"AUGH!" Chunky flinched and tried to cover his face as Petunia sprayed him with skunk oil. He tumbled over onto his back, and through his smudged glasses he could see Petunia stomping off holding up one hand up to flip him off as she left. He felt blindly around the ground and found what she had thrown, it was his tri-force necklace he had given her on their first date. Chunky felt tears well up in his eyes when a large pair of hands turned him around.

"Chunky," It was his father, staring him straight on "What the hell is going on here, you didn't tell me Petunia was a skunk. And why are all these people,"

But Chunky interrupted him "It's all my fault, I'm sorry. I was lying to you in those letters. I just thought you wouldn't be proud of me so I tried to…"

"Hey old man! Give 'em over! This idiot ruined our festival, and we won't mind breaking your skull too!" Cuddles shouted from the group, stepping forward and brandishing a baseball bat.

"What'd you say to me punk?" Grizzly stood and growled, causing the little yellow rabbit to remember just how little he was.

"Dad, no. I did this, and I think they deserve to kill me for what I did today." Chunky said solemnly and stepped past his father toward the crowd.

"What, kill you?" He reached towards his son in fear, but he was already out of his long grasp.

"Dad, don't worry, I'll come back tomorrow. It's weird, but I can explain later." Chunky said without turning to face his father. As he stepped closer Cuddles raised the bat over one shoulder and Chunky closed his eyes and clenched his teeth in preparation for the killing strike. He heard the bat swing downward, and heard a wooden impact, but felt nothing. He opened his eyes to find Lifty and Shifty standing in front of him. Shifty held both his arms over his head to block the bat and Lifty stood nearby with his fists clenched in a boxing stance.

Chunky was so shocked, he could only speak after taking a minute to take in what was going on, "L-lifty, Sh-Shifty? What are you guys,"

"Doin'? We feel like we owe ya, after all we did to you and Petunia." Lifty chuckled.

"Yeah, and you know how much we hate owing people favors." Shifty added "Plus, while I may not care too much for dads, anyone who'd be willing to risk life and limb for his pa has got serious balls in my opinion." Chunky felt the large paw on his shoulder again and saw his father.

"You lied, and risked everyone's lives just to impress me?" He asked.

Chunky gave a weak smile, "Well, yeah I just thought you wouldn't be proud with a chubby nerdy waiter for a son…AUGH!" He felt the all-too-familiar paw on the side of his head.

"GOD! For a kid who gets such great grades you're so freaking stupid! Of course I'd be proud of you!" He groaned, but gave a warm smile, "though I appreciate the gesture."

"I'm sorry Dad, that was just so stupid, I don't know why I did it.."

"Don't apologize to me, apologize to them." He said and pointed to the crowd. Who was still standing there watching them, save for Lifty and Shifty, who were still beating on poor Cuddles. He stepped up to the crowd and apologized.

"I know what I did was stupid and nothing could make up for it.."

His father stepped forward " Unless of course my son and I rebuild your stage for a second festival tomorrow, which of course we are going to do." The crowd began to mumble and soon dispersed, accepting the offer, leaving only Chunky and Grizzly.

"Um, Dad, how are we going to rebuild the stage by tomorrow?"

"We're not. We're going to rebuild it by tomorrow _night_. Now let's get home, we're getting up at 3:00 AM" Chunky let out an audible groan as they called for another taxi.

…

"So," Grizzly asked as he picked up a large plank and held it over one shoulder "Petunia really was your girlfriend? Then why did you say she was a bear?"

"Well I figured you'd wanted me to be with a bear," Chunky looked up from the piece of wood he was cutting. "You'd always wanted to hook me up with Greta and…"

"I wanted you with Greta because you were severely overweight. I figured she could help you, it was unhealthy son. Besides, I'm married to a squirrel, why would I mind you dating a skunk?" Grizzly placed the piece of wood on the new stage's frame and secured it with a nail gun.

" I dunno, I didn't think of that…" He replied, and finished sawing the plank, and passed it off to his father. They had been working tirelessly since 3:00 am, talking about the whole event for the past nine hours. Chunky was working so precisely he seemed to be disarming a bomb, not building a stage But, even with their combined effort, they were only two people and the stage wouldn't be done until (hopefully) six. They were still working when Cuddles approached, and coughed loudly to get their attention.

"So I uh, heard about why you did all that, for your dad and all. I have to admit it was kind of brave, especially how you were totally ready to let me bash your skull in and all, so I want to help you build."

"Uh, Dad, what do you think?"

Grizzly gave a hearty laugh. "I think you just made a friend out of a foe! C'mere Cuddles, hold this in place while I screw it to this board." And Cuddles happily helped.

They kept working for a while, when Sniffles and Toothy came to the construction sight.

"Heh, Toothy, er, we wanted to apologize for last night. We really sold you up the river with your dad and we wanted to make it up for you." Sniffles said nervously.

"Yeah," Toothy said, tears in his eyes "I can't believe you two love each other so much. My dad and I never saw eye to eye because, well, you know. But after seeing you two I think Pa and I could make amends!"

And so two more showed up to help. And soon Pop did as well, reminiscing about the dumb things he did to impress _his_ father back in the day. And Lifty and Shifty, still feeling like they owed Chunky a favor, or at least that's what they told him (Chunky suspected they were just being nice and didn't want to show it). And pretty soon almost the entire town had showed up to help them build a single stage, and by two in the afternoon it was done it its entirety.

Chunky stood back, sighing proudly at the work he, his father, and his friends had done. Grizzly put one hand on the top of his head, smiling proudly at his son. As they stood by the stage, another taxi pulled up, drawing everyone's attention. The door flung open and out stepped a short red squirrel. It was scarlet, Chunky's mother. Her eyes were dull, yet happy to not be working and she had a long bushy tail that almost matched the hair on her head. Tossing her suitcase aside, she walked up to her son (Who was now slightly taller than her) and embraced him in a warm hug.

"Ohh Chunky, my little pooky-pie. How are you, is school going well, you're keeping up your grades right, where's your girlfriend, is she sweet?" But, Scarlet's long line of questions was broken when she felt a spot on his head and her eyes snapped open. Letting go of him, she ran up to Grizzly, leapt four feet into the air and slapped him.

"You hit him!" she shouted

Grizzly, normally fierce, became nervous "I-uh, he was being bad!"

"You promised you'd stop doing that! Don't do it again!" She stared daggers at him.

"Yes dear, sorry dear…"

Chunky, who was on the verge of breaking down laughing, felt a hand, or a nub more rather, on his shoulder. It was Handy, with a worried look on his face.

"Chunks, we got a problem! Disco's still unconscious in the hospital, and even if he wakes up he won't be able to perform tonight, and Flaky's still too unstable. We don't have a singer!"

Scarlet's ears perked up "Excuse me, a singer? You need a singer?" She asked shyly.

"Yeah, Mom! You could totally be the singer, you have a beautiful voice!" said Chunky.

"Oh, nononononono! I was just kidding," She blushed "I was only joking, I couldn't possibly!"

"Aw c'mon scarlet, I still hear you singing in the shower at night! You've still got the pipes of a goddess!" Grizzly added.

"Well, I mean if you really think so…."

"Absolutely Mrs. Scarlet! If you could come with me we could work out a routine for tonight!" Handy said happily, and led her off toward where the band was practicing.

Most of the crowd that had come to help had dispersed by now, all headed home to prepare for the dance. Grizzly, noticing this, turned to his son "Hey, Chunky, let's get a bite to eat and get home so we can get ready for tonight, waddaya say?"

"I thought you'd never ask, I'm starved!"

…

Scarlet tapped the microphone nervously "Well, hello folks, I hope you've all been enjoying the first annual _second _of may dance. This is my first time in Happy Tree Town and I'd just like to say I'm honored to sing for you wonderful people tonight. So, let's hit it boys!"

She pointed to the band, who now consisted of Handy, Cuddles, and now Lumpy, playing saxophone (Which, at the time he probably believed was a ukulele, but regardless he played it well). The music picked up with a jazzy tune and Scarlet began to sing.

_Stupid Cupid  
You're a real mean guy  
I'd like to clip your wings  
So you can't fly  
I am in love and it's a crying shame  
And I know that you're the one to blame_

_Hey hey,  
Set me free  
Stupid Cupid  
Stop picking on me_

Chunky was enjoying the music from a nearby bench, still not confident enough to dance, especially not without Petunia. He sat quietly until a familiar female figure sat next to him.

The spoke in unison "I'm sorry"

_I can't do my homework  
And I can't think straight  
I meet him every morning  
At 'bout half-past eight  
I'm acting like a lovesick fool  
You've even got me carrying his books to school_

_Hey hey  
Set me free  
Stupid Cupid  
Stop picking on me_

"Petunia I can't believe I did this to you. I should have never tried to hide you from my father, you're a wonderful girl."

"Chunky, the punch was spiked. I don't hate you, though I was mad at you, I was drunk when I said that stuff to you."

" I deserve it"

" No, you don't."

"I at least owe you a dance"

Petunia cracked a smile "Then what are we waiting for?"

"This." Chunky stood and placed the gold necklace around Petunia's neck and pulled her up for a dance.

_You mixed me up for good  
Right from the very start  
Hey, go play Robin Hood  
With somebody else's heart_

_You got me jumping like a crazy clown  
And I don't feature what your puttin' down  
Well since I kissed his loving lips of wine  
The thing that bothers me is  
That I like it fine_

_Hey hey  
Set me free  
Stupid Cupid  
Stop picking on me_

On that last verse, the embraced in a tender kiss. A kiss that would have lasted forever had the magic not been broken by Grizzly.

"Heh, I guess Chunky wasn't lying when he said you were normally a good girl." The two pulled away, shocked and a little embarrassed.

Petunia blushed, "Um, Mr. Grizzly, about last night I,"

Grizzly interrupted "Don't have to explain, I've done worse after a couple margaritas. Speaking of which, I'm still not allowed in Mexico after the incident with the donkey" This broke the tension, and the three laughed, so much so that Petunia's flower fell off her head.

"Oh, let me get that for you." Chunky bent down to pick it up, and Lumpy, onstage, noticed he was crouching behind his father. Then, deep inside his dried apricot of a brain, this triggered a memory of an important task that he needed to perform for a friend. He threw the saxophone aside and dashed off the stage at Grizzly, pushing him over Chunky onto the ground. Chunky initially gasped, but he was soon comforted by his father's laughter.

"AHAHAAHAAhAHA! Chunky, how did you know I love that one? The ol' "you get behind him and I push" gag! CLASSIC! Oh son, you're a riot!" Chunky just managed a nervous laugh, and lumpy stood proudly.

"Y'see, you get behind him and I push! Just like you planned!" Lumpy laughed.

"Yeah, exactly as I planned." Said Chunky, as Scarlet announced over the speakers once again.

"Well, looks like we lost out saxophone player, but no big deal, I hated that song! I was a child of the 80s anyhow!" She said and whipped off her long dress, revealing a bright red skirt "Give 'em some real music boys!"

The band kicked up again with a powerful electric guitar, and Chunky took Petunia by the hand for another dance over the stars.

_Well you're the real tough cookie with the long history  
Of breaking little hearts, like the one in me  
That's O.K., lets see how you do it  
Put up your dukes, lets get down to it!  
Hit Me With Your Best Shot!  
Why Don't You Hit Me With Your Best Shot!  
Hit Me With Your Best Shot!  
Fire Away!_

* * *

Heh, no too bad, little long though, if I do say. I just love that little koala! But, what do you think? And by the way, a few people got the WoW and TF2 references, but did anyone catch the less obvious reference in chapter 4? Well, maybe if you still don't get it maybe I SHOULD TELL YOU what it is ANOTHER DAY? In the meantime, can you LIGHT MY CANDLE for me, I'm going OUT TONIGHT .

Well, GOODBYE LOVE

This has been Ph-

Oh and the songs are **Stupid Cupid by Mandy Moore **and **Hit Me With Your Best Shot by Pat Benatar**

See ya around folks!


End file.
